Friday, 26 December 2025

Gnashers & Nazis

Punching Nazis. Shooting Nazis. Blowing up Nazis. Setting Nazis on Fire. Scare Nazis. Bite Nazis. Then feed on their blood. It is 1943 and as Hitler brings about his dire plan to create Werewolf soldiers, the British government decides to strike. Not with its brightest and its best, but its darkest and its worst. Under the command of F.A.N.G., a single RAF bomber will drop six crack commandos onto Paris in their drop-coffins. Each drop coffin contains a vampire. Their mission? Cut a bloody swathe across the City of Light, kill Nazis and feed on their blood. Once enriched, they are to storm the Eifel Tower and climb to its top where Hitler has his personal Zeppelin moored. Once aboard, they are to kill Hitler, drink his blood, and stop his Nazi werewolf programme. This is Inglorious Basterds meets The Suicide Squad in a sanguinary splatterfest in an alternate World War 2 and the setting for Eat the Reich. This is a pulp-action horror one-shot storytelling roleplaying game or a scenario with some roleplaying rules attached, published Rowan, Rook, and Decard, best known for Spire: The City Must Fall and Heart: The City Beneath. Intended as a fun and cathartic punch-up of a game of evil action delivered on an even greater evil, Eat the Reich does not so much wear its heart on its sleeve as bare its fangs and tell you to hold still whilst it bites you.

To be fair, the elevator pitch for Eat the Reich, as hard as it punches, it is not the first thing that grabs the reader. What grabs the reader is the crazed eyes staring out of the cut-out in the front cover. After that, it is the colours used—vibrant swathes of neon pink, yellow, and blue that continue right through the length of Eat the Reich. This is technicolour in all of its comic book exuberance and brio, that in case of the front cover hides a frightened looking monster. And it is monsters that Eat the Reich makes a case for playing, noting that it is monsters preying on monsters that even more monstrous. It includes the by now traditional advice on safety at the table, covering the X-Card and Lines and Veils, but goes beyond that to ask the Game Master and her players what is acceptable in their game. Anti-hero vampires invading occupied France, feeding on blood for the power it gives, killing and feeding fascist, are all fine. Murdering innocent civilians and acts of fascism are definitely reserved for the villains of the piece. Although there are boundaries that it definitely sets—primarily sexual violence and violence against children—Eat the Reich examines others to help guide a playing group what it is and is not acceptable at its table taking into account religious sensibilities as well. It backs this up with an ‘Evil Calibration Checklist’ that a group can work through before play.

Unfortunately, the response of some to this advice—which goes further than most roleplaying game—is to see it as unnecessary moralising, especially in a roleplaying game that only runs to seventy or so pages. Perhaps in a longer roleplaying game it might not have been so prominent. On the other hand, it is not bad advice and in the context of the game, it is really only going to ask everyone to think about their limits and their expectations. And ultimately, like any advice, the Game Master and her players are free to accept it or reject it as is their wont.

Although there is advice on creating Player Characters or rather adapting the pre-generated ones, Eat the Reich really is about playing its six pre-generated Vampire Commandos. They consist of Iryna, a noble woman who is a crack shot and wields a mesmerising dark glamour; Niclole, resistance fighter and saboteur who likes blowing things up; Cosgrave, Cockney spiv and necromancer on the run from East London’s undead mafia; Chuck, a fan of cowboy films pulled out of prison to go on the mission; Astrid, ex-fighter pilot with a parasitical soul wrapped round her heart who can command spirits and hunts with a greatspear; and Flint, a half-human, half-bat who can fly and rarely speaks.

Each Vampire has seven stats—Brawl, Con, Fix, Search, Shoot, Sneak, and Terrify—rated between one and four. He will also have some equipment each marked with a number of use boxes; four Abilities, some of which require the expenditure of Blood, some of which require a player to roll and assign a Special to it; Advances when he learns from the campaign against the Nazis; and Injury boxes. For example, Iryna has an ‘Exquisite Hunting Rifle’ which grants an extra die when she is elevated; a ‘Magic Cavalry Sabre’ which grants a bonus when she charges with it; ‘Explosive Runes’ that wok better if concealed; and ‘Cigarettes taken from the pockets of a hanged man’ to smoke and regain two Blood. Her Abilities include ‘Dark Glamour’ to mesmerise those nearby with her unearthly appearance; summoning a swarm of bats under her control with ‘Night’s Willing Servants’; and reducing a Threat’s Attack rating by one with ‘Deadeye Shot’. Her Advances include ‘Hell’s Ravenous Fire’, ‘Enervation of the Soul’, and ‘Mantle of the Fell Beast’, whilst her Injuries are randomly determined, which might be ‘Suit Torn’ or ‘Abdominal Puncture’, ‘Shoulder Injury’ or ‘Arm Removed’, and so on. Each Vampire’s character sheet is easy to read and comes with a great illustration.

Mechanically, Eat the Reich uses the HAVOC Engine. To have his Vampire undertake an action, a player rolls a number of six-sided dice equal to an appropriate stat plus any bonus dice from an item of equipment used or an Ability. The Game Master rolls a number of dice equal to the current Threat or Attack rating. Results of four and five count as a Success each, whilst a six counts as a Critical. There are multiple ways in which a player can now spend his Vampire’s Successes and Criticals. If the situation has an Objective, they can be spent to advance it; to counter a Threat and reduce it; to active a Special; to feed on a Nazi; and to defend against an attack. When defending, a Success counters a Success rolled by the Game Master, whilst a Critical counters a Critical. A Critical can also be used as a Special to activate various Abilities. Any Success or Criticals not defended against like this means that the Vampire suffers an Injury, and if he suffers too many Injuries and dies, he can at least go out in a ‘Blaze of Glory’ with one last roll of a bigger dice pool. Blood can also be spent to heal a Vampire. Lastly, feeding on Nazi blood fills up a Vampire’s Blood which he can subsequently spend to active various Abilities.

In addition to rolling the dice and assigning the dice, what a player is expected to do with each Success or Critical is narrate the outcome and describe the actions of his vampire. Once per session, if a player rolls two Successes or fewer, he can instead narrate a flashback scene of a prior mission which somehow helps this one and reroll all of the dice again.

There is a definite loop to the play of Eat the Reich. A Vampire needs Blood and thus needs to feed on Nazis, in order to have Blood to activate Abilities or heal himself. So, he needs to keep a flow of Blood going from scene to scene, action to action, but this has to be balanced against the needs of an induvial scene, whether that is reducing a Threat and thus its capacity to Attack the Vampires or work towards an Objective. Plus, he also has to counter the Attack rolls made by the Threats to prevent himself from being Injured. However, when a Vampire lands in his Drop Coffin, he has no Blood, as it has been used to heal him from the drop, which means that his player has to make Successful rolls in order to get Blood to get the play loop running. It does make for a slow start to the action.

The play of Eat the Reich is one big mission. Essentially, rampaging across Paris until the Vampires get to the Eifel Tower and ascending to the final confrontation against Hitler. After the briefing and the coffin drop, this takes place across three sectors of Paris. This is a comic book version of Paris rather than an historical recreation, but then having already thrown the Vampires into the mix, it not being historically accurate is hardly going to break immersion. Working their way across three sectors, the Vampires will start off in somewhere like the Place de la Sirène where there are families and bistros and the only threat they will face are police patrols, their Objective being to get out of the open and into cover. In Sector 2, they might have to get through ‘The German Technology Pavilion’ and get out the other side. They will face Stahlsoldat, half-men, half-machine warriors, but will also have the opportunity to find loot such as a ‘Prototype Beam Emitter’ and achieve secondary Objectives such as powering up a weapons platform. As the Vampires move from sector to sector, the locations become more interesting and complex, including a chance for the Vampires to team up with the Resistance at the ‘Le Cochon Noir’ and battle magically-animated suits of armour and use medieval weaponry in the ‘Museum of European Warfare’! Eventually, the Vampires will make it to the Eifel Tower and hopefully defeat his minions and kill Hitler.

Physically, Eat the Reich is a riot of colour. This is used in such a way that it does not impede the legibility of the text, which is clear and well written.

Eat the Reich is a one-shot. Two or three session’s worth of play and the playthrough is done. Whilst there are suggestions for sequels, including going up against Churchill—for unfortunate historical reasons—and perhaps they might want to play it again, but switching vampires, a group is unlikely to play through it again. Of course, the Game Master could run it for another group. It is simple to play and as a storytelling game gives plenty of room for every player to narrate how vicious and nasty and frightening his vampire is, in a very violent comic book caper. Nevertheless, however a group decides to play, whatever boundaries they set for themselves, Eat the Reich is a blast to play, a blaze of blood and brutalising Nazis, of monsters masticating on monsters, and ripping the heart out of the Reich.

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