The Other OSR: Punk is Dead

Punk is Dead: A Post-Apocalyptic SongwritingTTRPG kicks the punk of Mörk Borg into England’s dreaming. It is a roleplaying game that is both like and unlike Mörk Borg, the Swedish pre-apocalypse Old School Renaissance style roleplaying game designed by Ockult Örtmästare Games and Stockholm Kartell and published by Free League Publishing. Its tone is very much ‘punk’ and punk rock and it is very much like Mörk Borg set on an island lost from the dying world, However, it is a post-apocalyptic world rather than the pre-apocalyptic world of Mörk Borg, and its setting is modern rather than fantasy, but still ‘grim dark’. How exactly this world came about is unknown, but everyone knows that it was the fault of foolish old men, who in the space of seven days expended every nuclear weapon and shrouded the world in grey. Only the Ununited Kingdom remains, a lonely island onto whose shores climbs every nightmare and myth, come in search of power, a feast, or just a seat at the last dying of the world. It has been divided into five realms. In the southeast, The Murk exists Underground, dominated by the organisation known as the ‘LCV’, or Literal Corporate Vampires, and their shareholders, who reside in the Earthscrapers that fork out from the old tunnels of the Underground. Their world is a hell of torture and decadence, dug ever deeper by captives destined to become food. In the southwest, The Whimsy is ruled by an Undead Queen pulled from the grave to enact retribution upon those who killed her husband a thousand years before and unite the kingdom. She covers her realm in a thick mist which hides the monsters she commands and makes travel difficult. In the west, Adain Ddraig is protected from The Whimsy and the rest of the Ununited Kingdom by two gurt wyrms that demand tribute in cattle. To the north, The Grim is scarred by the cracks of former rivers and canals, divided between and vied over by the Petrolhdz and the EquestriPunks, who only come together for a good rave or to trade at the realm’s only building still standing, the Manchester Free Trade Hall. Further north, The Fern Jungle is a labyrinth of towering ferns and forests, where ‘Quantum Fuckery’ has merged nature and humanity as one, the Stag Folk silent and swift, and protective of their Hidden King. In between is The Woe, the workhouse of the Ununited Kingdom, run by middle management for the Literal Corporate Vampires. To the east, somewhere in the poisoned sea comes a signal from a Pirate Radio station, broadcasting news and music, and worse, Emergency Broadcasts that herald the end of the UuK. Few hear them for the Literal Corporate Vampires outlaws the possession of radios. Even as the end draws near, there is hope. Hope that runs like a river. Not of water, but MUSIC! Music that Punks will play to bring hope to the Ununited Kingdom and kick fascist, vampiric arse along the way.

Punk is Dead: A Post-Apocalyptic Songwriting TTRPG is published published by Critical Kit Ltd, best known for Be Like A Crow – A Solo RPG and Aces Over the Adriatic: A Solo RPG. A Punk in Punk is Dead is defined by six attributes—Nngh (strength for pushing and punching), Deft, Stage Presence (intimidation and charisma), Tough, Yeet (throwing stuff), and Streetwise. These range in value between ‘-3’ and ‘+3’. He has a weapon, such as a steak tenderise, an eight-ball in a sock, or a chainsaw. He will also have a Role, a Class that is his role in the band. These consist of Vocals, Guitar, Drums, and Keys, plus there are three bonus Hip Hop roles, which are Em Cee, Dee Jay, and Breaker. (If there is an eighties version of Punk is Dead, there definitely needs to a ‘Bez’ Role.) Each provides some ability modifiers, how money he has, and a way in ‘Quantum Fuckery’ has affected him. For example, Vocals might have the ‘War Song’ that unleashes a scream twice a day that grants a bonus to the other Band Members’ next actions or ‘Crowd Surfer’, which with running start or leap enables the Band Member to attack everyone in the ‘crowd’, whilst for the Keys there is Sight Reading’ to read the intentions of someone else and ‘Discordant Demo’ that creates an off-key melody which causes temporary brain fuzz and increases the Difficulty Rating of all tests for several minutes.

Name: Nuclear Trashcan Ned

Role: Drums

Nngh +2 Deft 0 Stage Presence 0 Tough +3 Yeet 0 Streetwise -1

Hit Points: 11

‘Quantum Fuckery’: 808 (inflict double damage on anyone attacking a fellow bandmember)

Weapon: The Truncheon Thing (d6)

Threads: Kevlar Jacket, Kneepads, DMs, leather gloves

Equipment: Fuck all

£23, bottle of water, two days’ worth of food

Clash symbol

To have his Punk or Band Member undertake an action, a player rolls a twenty-sided die and adds the appropriate ability score to roll equal to or higher than a Difficulty Rating. The Difficulty Rating ranges from ‘Piece of piss’ and six to ‘No fucking chance’ and eighteen, with ‘You’ve got this’ or twelve being the average Difficulty Rating. A Band Member has a number of Creativity Points that his player can spend to modify rolls, whilst the Band Creativity Points are useable all by everyone as long as they all agree.

Combat uses the same mechanic. Initiative is random, the band members or the enemies going first. Tests are made against Nngh for melee attacks and Yeet for ranged attacks. An attack can be dodged with the Deft test. The rules allow for ‘fuck-ups’ if a roll of one is made. If a Band Member’s Hit Points are reduced to zero, he is broken and may result in him being knocked unconscious, losing or breaking a limb, losing an eye, heavy bleeding, and death. If reduced to negative Hit Points, he is definitely dead.

The songwriting aspect of Punk is Dead is treated with a similar brevity, even though it is part of the title. There are no mechanics to support the process, but rather the players are expected to rely upon their creativity, take a vote on proposed lyrics, and if accepted are rewarded with Creativity Points. There is a quick and dirty guide, which is very in-keeping with the Punk ethos. The other way of earning Creativity Points is performing great gigs. There are tables for a gig’s outcome and for life on tour, preferably in a Ford Transit Van.

For the Band Manager as the Game Master is known there is a plethora of enemies, fascist and otherwise. They start with the Literal Corporate Vampire with sharpest of suits and include the First Wave of undead raised by the Undead Queen in The Whimsey after the apocalypse, Flame Hounds, the Gurt Wyrm, Stag Folk, Splitter made from seaweed, rope, and micro-plastics, Root Blights, Woebots, The Undead Queen of Avalon, and more.

Lastly there is a scenario, ‘London Falling’. The band gets to play at The ePoxy Club in Covent Garden Ruins as a support act. It is a fun little stealth and strike mission which kicks off when the main act gets kidnapped by the local Literal Corporate Vampire. It can be played through in a single session or so, including Band Member creation.

Punk is Dead: A Post-Apocalyptic Songwriting TTRPG is missing advice for the Band Manager in terms of setting up and running a game. Given that, this is not a roleplaying game that really should be picked by the prospective Game Master as her first roleplaying game unless she is definitely a fan of Punk. It is better suited to a more experienced Game Master who will have no issue with the rules or how to play or run Punk is Dead. In the main, the Band Manager and her players will be drawing upon all manner of media depicting band life and going on tour, not just that of Punk, and for the majority of players, they will have some idea of what that is like from having consumed some of that media. Similarly, there is no advice on creating a scenario or campaign, otherwise known as going on tour, and again, the Band Member will likely want to draw inspiration for those media sources and then inject some of the horror of Punk is Dead.

Physically, Punk is Dead: A Post-Apocalyptic Songwriting TTRPG is presented in the rough Punk style that you would expect and as seen on punk rock album covers, flyers for punk concerts ,and punk fanzines, with lots of paste-ups, torn out content, and collages. It fits the genre of the roleplaying game and it work well with the more horrifying style of Mörk Borg.

Punk is Dead: A Post-Apocalyptic Songwriting TTRPG is an entertainingly different treatment of the post-apocalyptic in roleplaying, likely to be a bruising, sweary headbutt of a game. Its presentation of the post-apocalypse of the Ununited Kingdom leans towards breadth rather than depth, and perhaps it could be explored further a full Punk is Dead tour across the Ununited Kingdom?