Public Access Perturbations

Fairhaven is your typical American small town. Fairhaven is also utterly normal. There are no three-foot-tall bulbous headed babies running around in loincloths in the woods near the quartz caves that have been closed off since that kid disappeared in the fifties. Alien invaders are not planning to invade the town and replace everyone over eighteen with doppelgangers. The parking lot outside the 7-Eleven on route 67 out of town is not cursed. Fairhaven Mall, the town’s very first enclosed retail centre, is not going to be used as a summoning circle for the ancient serpent demon Menevoth, with the very excited members of the town’s Chamber of Commerce definitely not going to use everyone who attends on the opening day at 3 pm as ritual sacrifices. Sherman Glimp, wouldbe comic, prize-winning tap dancer, and owner of GlimpBytes, the most reliable computer repair shop in Fairhaven, did not die in strange circumstances. Swamp Eggs, the latest kids’ craze to hit Fairhaven, sold by local, advanced technology development company, X-Tec, definitely do contain something alive in them, but whatever it is, it is definitely safe (terms and conditions apply). The Fairhaven Aquarium Natural History Annex has definitely not lost the exhibit, ‘Our Cool Ancestor, The Iceman’, and Jed and Edna Hamburger were definitely not attacked by a prehistoric ape-creature with beady yellow eyes says a spokesman for Fairhaven Police Department. Rest assured, Fairhaven Police Department keeps everything normal.

Except, of course, the Rev. Joey Royale, the Station Manager at WHPA-TV13 Fairhaven knows different. He runs the town’s Public Access Television channel and he wants to ensure that the good folk of Fairhaven are kept safe from the weird, strange, horrifying, and unnatural things going on in the town that nobody talks about and the Fairhaven Police Department resolutely deny are happening. Of course, a figure of such ‘good standing’ in the community as Rev. Joey Royale cannot be seen to be involved in such abnormal activities as investigating the outré and the unconventional, but he can of course, call upon the skills, services, and gumption of numerous individuals already exposed to such doings—the hosts of the shows on WHPA-TV13 Fairhaven!

This is the set-up for Weird Heroes of Public Access: The Roleplaying Game, published by Get Haunted Industries. Originally released as a series of fanzines—the Weird Heroes of Public Access: The Roleplaying Game collates the first four and adds further content—this is an investigative roleplaying game into small town weirdness, horror, and mystery set in the eighties. Cryptids, UFOs, disappearances, strange deaths, alien invasions, all too advanced technology, cults, monster sightings, psychic powers, and that old homeless guy muttering prophecies under his breath are all fair game. The players take the role of Hosts of programmes on WHPA-TV13 Fairhaven. They have ordinary, even dull day jobs, but once a week—or even nightly, depending upon the needs of the schedule and their popularity—they have their own show on WHPA-TV13 Fairhaven. They might be spiritualists or psychics, fitness fanatics, local talk show hosts, variety show hosts, hosts of special interest shows—whether that is fishing, cooking, religion, and so on, and of course, they might host late night horror movie marathons! They receive instructions from Rev. Joey Royale, kept anonymous via the use of a ventriloquist’s dummy or a Speak & Spell, and then they investigate, keeping sure to avoid the Fairhaven Police Department because WHPA-TV13 Fairhaven definitely does not want that kind of publicity!

A Host in Weird Heroes of Public Access: The Roleplaying Game is simply defined. He has four core skills—Mind, Mouth, Body, and Soul. Every Host begins play with six points of Hope, which represents both his health and his determination. A Host also has a Programming Focus, which will define these skills, connections in the community, some props that he uses on his show, and a safety item which he can use in a fight. The latter cannot be a gun because that brings too much attention to WHPA-TV13 Fairhaven. The Host types include Spirituality, Fitness, Variety, Monster Movies, Local Talk, and Special Interest, which covers anything else that a player can think of. Each provides a bonus to a core skill and most also provide an extra connection and special abilities. For example, a Fitness Host simply receives a big bonus to his Body skill, but a Monster Movies is given a small bonus to his Mind skill, can receive vivid flashes of arcane, occult, and/or scientific knowledge, and can also perform acts of sleight of hand. Lastly, a Host has a Supernatural Ability, like X-ray Vision or Minor Pyromancy.

Host creation is a matter of distributing some points between the core skills, and choosing a Programming Focus, some props, and a supernatural ability. It is a simple process, but it is not as clearly worded as it could have been and an example would have helped.

Host: Frau Blücher
Programming Focus: Special Interest (Cleaning)
Show Name: The Marital Arts Show
Occupation: Small Business Owner (Spick-Und-Span – Murder Scenes a Speciality)

CORE SKILLS
Mind 1 Mouth 2 Body 1 Soul 0
Hope 6

Connection: Aldous Kesey (Deputy Chairman, Fairhaven Chamber of Commerce)
Props: Mop and bucket, bleach, thick rubber gloves
Safety Item: Urn with her mother’s ashes

Mechanically, Weird Heroes of Public Access: The Roleplaying Game is very simple, using a dice pool of six-sided dice. When a player wants his host to undertake an action, he rolls one die plus dice equal to the appropriate core skill. Rolls of five or six are counted as a success and typically, only one success is required for the Host to carry out the action successfully. However, if all ones are rolled on the dice, the Host loses a point of Hope, but if all sixes are rolled, it triggers the Host’s Supernatural Ability temporarily.

Combat is equally as simple and fast. Initiative is a roll of a six-sided die and a successful Body check is required to see if an attacker is successful. Damage is also rolled on a single die. If the result is four or less, the defendant loses one point of Hope, but two points if five or six is rolled. If a Host loses all of his Hope points, he can be stabilised and continue investigating with one point, but if not, he suffers Cancellation, or worse, a return to normality!

And that really is it to Weird Heroes of Public Access: The Roleplaying Game. The players can help the Ref—as the Game Master is known—conduct some planning and zoning to create the town of Fairhaven, and there are detailed rules for psionic powers using Zener cards if the Ref wants to use them (though she should probably buy or create her own rather than cutting up the book) and for handling seances, which uses a standard deck of playing cards. Really though, but the rest of Weird Heroes of Public Access: The Roleplaying Game is dedicated to defining the possible weirdness in Fairhaven, and if not defining then alluding to it. This includes scenario outlines such as the appearance of the horse-headed serpent, Sassy, in ‘Return of the Pond Beast’ and exploring ‘The Forgotten Canals of Amontillado’, the tunnels dug under the town to facilitate the bootlegging of its famous fig schnapps during Prohibition. Whilst there are stats for a few creatures and oddities, the Ref is left to define a lot the details of the various descriptions.

In between—and even in—the scenarios, Weird Heroes of Public Access: The Roleplaying Game bombards the reader and the Ref with adverts and classified adverts. ‘Haunted Light Tours’? Call ‘Capt.’ Bob on 555-1366; examine the ‘Outer Space Time Manipulator’, ‘Happy Clown Bombs’, and ‘Ghost-Whispering Mask’ at the Fairhaven Funtime Museum on Fairground Lane; and call Ethel on 555-1947 if looking for ‘Rare Ventriloquist Dummies’, but no flimflammers as these dummies are special! All of these are just a bit off kilter, slightly odd, and could with some effort be developed in an investigation proper.

Physically, Weird Heroes of Public Access: The Roleplaying Game can best be described as scrappy. It is underwritten in places and the layout, designed to look like a cheap community newspaper with everything crammed in alongside the adverts—as much as it evokes the rundown, sometimes seedy nature of its setting—is overwhelming in places. Nothing ever has the time to breath in Weird Heroes of Public Access: The Roleplaying Game and the weirdness is suitably relentless.

Of course, the problem with Weird Heroes of Public Access: The Roleplaying Game is that not everyone is going to be familiar with the concept of public access television and its often high aspiration, low achievement style of broadcasting on a wide of subjects. Whether talk shows, phone-ins, special interest shows, or movie marathons—complete with a host in a horror-themed costume, they provided cheap—in all senses of the word—late night ‘entertainment’ for the insomniac, the shift-worker, and the late-night party-goer who has just got home. Anyone outside of the USA may want to do some research to get a feel of what these shows are like, but Weird Heroes of Public Access: The Roleplaying Game does get the tone across fairly well.

Weird Heroes of Public Access: The Roleplaying Game is underwritten in terms of its mechanics and messily overwritten in terms of its setting, which sounds like a terrible combination, but it does actually work. There is lot of room for improvisation and player input during play and roleplaying a Host who wants to be something more than an ordinary jane or joe and who might have a modicum of talent, but is probably going nowhere except Public Access Television, is actually fun. Weird Heroes of Public Access: The Roleplaying Game is The National Enquirer meets Eureka and Eerie, Indiana, managing to be both creepy and creaky with an extra couple of slices of cheese on top. American cheese, of course.

Your Templar Primer

The writer Graeme Davis is probably best known as being a co-designer of the seminal British fantasy RPG, Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay. He has of course worked on other books for other lines for other publishers, most as line editor for Colonial Gothic for Rogue Games. Amongst his other books is a number of sourcebooks for Osprey Publishing of which Knights Templar: A Secret History is one. Part of the publisher’s Osprey Adventures line where fact and fiction coalesce, this short guide is the second in the series that began with Ken Hite’s The Nazi Occult, continuing its exploration of myth, legend, secret histories, and conspiracy theories. Although the matter of its subject, that of the Knights Templar, is older and as presented in Knights Templar: A Secret History, far better intentioned, than that of The Nazi Occult, there is just enough of a connection to cross over between the two. Well, of course there is, the Knights Templar, their history and their legend is just too big a conspiratorial confabulation not to touch upon the Nazis…

This being a book about the Knights Templar means that the book starts with a conspiracy of its own. This is the death of the historian, Doctor Emile Fouchet, who was investigating the foundation and history of the Templars in an attempt to uncover their secrets before died. His notes, compiled by the author, are what form the basis of Knights Templar: A Secret History. The notes begin with the origins of the Templars before their foundation date, and then explore their foundation and rise to power before the French monarchy brought them low with charges of heresy. More importantly, it examines their ties to the Cathars and the Albigensian Heresies that informs their philosophy and creed and their objectives—a united peaceful state free of religious strife, but also the vessel of their teachings—the Holy Grail. This is what drives them again and again, first in the Near East, then in France followed by Scotland, pre-Colonial North America, and back to France for multiple attempts, to manipulate the affairs—ordinary and outré—of governments, secret societies, and more. All the while following or protecting the Grail.

These attempts are where Knights Templar: A Secret History begins to get interesting because what it sets up is a three-way hidden war between the Knights Templar, the Vatican, and the Freemasons. Spread throughout are juicy little details such as their survival in New France, how Benjamin Franklin aided the Templars despite his Freemasonry, what might have really going on in Rennes-le-Château, the Templars' links to the Habsburgs, and all that before coming almost up to date with Dan Brown. After all, one could hardly expect a discussion on the Templars to ignore The Da Vinci Code and pleasingly, Knights Templar: A Secret History does not do that. What it does do is relegate the Prieuré de Sion, The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail, and The Da Vinci Code to nothing more than a sideshow, a smokescreen at best.

Knights Templar: A Secret History covers its subject matter quickly and easily. It is illustrated with a range of solid artwork and is accompanied by both a timeline and a bibliography. The latter is necessary given the brevity of the treatment. This is not to say that the book fails to cover the salient points of its subject matter, but rather that there is relatively little room for depth. It also means that there is no room for the application of its subject matter in gaming terms, so there are no plot seeds given or campaign ideas. Indeed, unlike other entries in the Osprey Adventures line, there are no suggestions as to what games might be applicable for running something based on Knights Templar: A Secret History.

Knights Templar: A Secret History is best used as an introduction to one of the biggest of conspiracies, and then as a source of ideas. A good overview then, but not much more.