Goblin Squabblin’

The big empire—or ‘big-emp’, if you are a scholar, and ‘imp-pig’, if you are not—lasted lots of moons. It was full of Dwarves and Elves and they was all happy and stuff, which was not natural like. Cos everyone knows Elves an’ Dwarves really hate each other. That’s just the way things are and it’s just the way things ought. So they had a fight. It was a big, lovely fight and they gave each other big red noses and then they hugged and were friends again. Naaah. Course not. They stabbed and they stabbed and they stabbed some more and they all died and the ones that did not die they hid. Which is why you never see a Dwarf or an Elf today. Well almost. Mostly not. Then the Becomening took place and the Gates of Hell which should never be opened unless you got a really, really good reason why, got opened. And that annoyed the gods. So the gods do what gods do. They come down and kick and stab all the chaos gribblies that comes through the gate that the Elves says they never opened and says the Dwarves did it and the Dwarves says they never opened and says the Elves did it. Since nobody says they was the one to open the gate, the gods did clean up the world and all died when they did, but by then, the gods had given the Elves and the Dwarves a smack, which is they are all hiding. And that is why the Dark Forest is empty and the one god who did remain, Moonface, did give it as a gift to all the Goblins and we did explore the forest and agree with Big Bosh to bash the Dwarves so hard they never fight the Goblins again and then after Big Bosh was gone, smack the Dragons so they are all dead and no Goblin ever has to give any shinies to any Dragons again. Unless it is Vermanthranox, the big boss dragon nobody seen where he went. And that is why the Dark Forest is for Goblins now. This is The Age of Goblins.

The Age of Goblins is the first campaign setting supplement for Quintessence, the generic, rules-light, dice pool-driven roleplaying game from Gribblie Games. It is a post-apocalyptic fantasy setting in which Goblins squabble and brawl and wander the Dark Forest, looking for Elf retreats and Dwarf holds to raid if still occupied, scavenge if not; battle, outwit, and if either fails, run away from just any monster bigger than they are—and most are; learn what magic they can, grift what shinies they can, grab what power they can, to prove themselves to be the most goblinest of all Goblins and the gribbliest of all gribblies. All this is in a Dark Forest where every monster is out to eat you; every remaining Dwarf hold—occupied or not, is laced with traps to kill Elves, but will also splat or shred Goblins too; every Elvish retreat—occupied or not, is infused with the spirits of the forest who hate Dwarves and if they cannot take their hate out on Dwarves, Goblins will do; and every other Goblin not in your pack, warband, or tribe (probably some that are) will shiv you to get what you got, if it can. The life of a Goblin is not necessarily short, sharp, chaotic, or brutal, but it is probably going to be some of those things.

Of course, the Player Characters are all going to be Goblins, all of whom have survived their very scrappy, voracious childhoods, and matured into would be pack-members, a pack consisting of five members (so ideally, The Age of Goblins works best with up to five players). The creation process is intended to be entirely random. This includes determining which region a Goblin was spawned in, what type he is, and what perks he has. The three Goblin types are Grots, Whelps, and Brutes. Grots are short and odd, often becoming entertainers, tricksters, and volitile spellcasters; Whelps are common Goblins, big-nosed and bog-eared, often becoming assassins, hunters, or healers; and Brutes are monstrously tall, ignored due to their lack of intelligence, but respected for their strength and combat prowess. There are tables for all four stages of a Goblin’s life to determine his Perks and Approach adjustments ready for play. For example, a Grot might have a Third Eye, which grants heightened perception or mystical sight, be subject to excessive drooling, an upbringing as a Stargazer that exposed him to celestial magic (and the Perks of either Magic: Celestial, Astronomer, or Star Navigation), was so good at hiding in shadows that the tribe once forgot he existed (+1 Subtlety or -1 Resolve), found a jewel that brings him bad luck and which can never ditch (Unlucky Charm), licked a magical stone and can now become partially invisible (Invisible), and spent time swindling others (Trickery). After that, there are suggestions for possible Goblin Natures and Demeanours and Goals to choose from, and Attitudes to other Goblins and Connections to roll. The process is fairly quick and where it counts, random in outcome.

Goblin society covers two things. One is how it organises itself, from the Packs that the Player Characters belong to, all the way to hordes and the other is a look at the different roles within Goblin society. Starting with ‘Bumpkins’ who have yet to prove themselves, these include ‘Pit Pigs’ (Pit Fighters), ‘Jerks’ (Skalds), and ‘Patchers’ (Healers), all the way up to Chieftain. These are roles and positions that the Player Characters can aspire to and which the Guide can use as inspiration for her NPCs.

Besides Goblin Clobberin’ (weapons), Swag (armour), and other Gubbins, including Swill (lovely), The Age of Goblins also details Goblin magic and its possible themes. The latter includes grotesque, shadow, draconic, moon (granted by Moonface, the only god about), and more. There are no spell lists, but instead, players are expected to flavour their Goblins’ magic with these themes. There are details of ‘Fizznips’ (potions), ‘Badgrogs’ (poisons), and ‘Fiddleswills’ (recipes), all with different effects, costs, and ingredients—the latter important because the Goblins can go foraging for the ‘Fings’ which are used to concoct them and this is supported by tables of ‘Greenies’ (plants), ‘Shrooms’ (fungi), and ‘Rokroks’ (minerals). Rounding out The Age of Goblins is a selection of new monsters, including lots of Goblin types plus dragons, Dwarves, spiders, the cockatrice, and more.

Physically, The Age of Goblins is very nicely presented. Both the cover and the internal artwork are excellent. It does need an edit in places, but the supplement is an easy read.

As a set-up, The Age of Goblins has everything that a Guide and her players are going to need. A setting, a handful of hooks, some foes, and the means to create some entertaining Player Characters. Yet it definitely feels as if there should be something more. An introductory scenario perhaps in which the Player Characters need to prove themselves more than Bumpkins, some loot that would be worth scavenging from a Dwarf hold or Elf retreat, or a big table of random events when things go wrong to help forment the chaos and disorder that The Age of Goblins is about. Of course, that chaos and disorder should come about through play and through the players, but something to ignite it would have been useful.

The Age of Goblins has the potential to be great fun, because everyone likes to play random, chaotic, silly characters once in a while. It just needs some effort from the Guide to set that fun up and get it going.

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