Calamity & Customer Service

Just after you review one roleplaying game about running a coffee shop with difficult customers designed to be run on its own or as corollary on top of just about any roleplaying game imaginable, along comes another roleplaying game about running a coffee shop with difficult customers designed to be run on its own or as corollary on top of just about any roleplaying game imaginable.* Coffee & Chaos – Comedy Café Roleplaying Game from Cobblepath Games was the first, a standalone game which used ordinary playing cards, cutlery mattered, and a slice of life was served up with smile and a heart in the foam in the face of difficult customers and dwindling resources (as essentially, there was never anyone to do the washing up!). The Eternal Grind Café is the second. It is published by Mottokrosh Machinations, best known for Hypertellurians: Fantastic Thrills Through the Ultracosm, the Old School Renaissance adjacent roleplaying game of retro science fantasy inspired by the artwork of Frank Frazetta and Roger Dean, the adventures of John Carter of Mars, Buck Rogers, and Barbarella. Certainly, any of those ‘Hypertellurians’ could end up in the Eternal Grind Café, but then again so could any character from any roleplaying game. Definitely though, The Eternal Grind Café does not share the same inspirations as Hypertellurians: Fantastic Thrills Through the Ultracosm.

* If I have to review a third, something weird is going on.

What has happened is that in their hubris, the Player Characters have angered the gods. To teach them a lesson, the gods have cast the Player Characters into Hell. Instead of hellfire and brimstone and eternal torment, it turns out that Hell is actually a minimum wage job in the only growing industry in the world. In other words, work as a barista. So now, where they were once mighty heroes and heroines who braved the odds to defeat dragons and save the princess, long-bearded wizards who commanded cosmic forces of magic, an accountant driven to investigate the unknown, and in the process save humanity unacknowledged, a necromancer who raised an army of the dead, and so on, they now clock on, tie an apron on, smile, take orders for coffee, brew that coffee, and smile again, until it is time to clock off. Unfortunately, the Eternal Grind Café gets at best, the most interesting customers, at worst, the worst customers in the known universe, and all the Player Characters have to do is suck it up until the end of their shift, or if they are really lucky, the gods change their minds. Which is unlucky. So technically, the Eternal Grind Café could actually be called the Infernal Grind Café...

The Eternal Grind Café is a storytelling style roleplaying game for between three and five players, which can be played in a single session. Mechanically, it is very simple, but it provides scope for lots of roleplaying and scope for improvisation. Designed for three to five players, as written, it is intended to be run by a Game Master, who portrays all of the customers who come to the Eternal Grind Café. However, it can easily be run without a Game Master, with the players taking it in turn to portray the bad or difficult customers. A barista in The Eternal Grind Café has two stats or skills. Barista covers anything to do with coffee and running the coffee shop, whilst Character covers everything else—and that includes everything that the barista could do as a Player Character in his home game. The hero’s wielding of a sword, the wizard opening up a portal to the netherworld, the accountant budgeting or casting Elder Sign when he really needs it, or the necromancer commanding the undead… Both skills start at three and are rolled on a six-sided die, the aim being to roll under. If good customer service is given, then both skills move to the right, but if bad customer service is given, they both move to the left. If the stats move to the right, the Barista skill goes up, but the Character skill goes down. If the stats move to the left, the Barista skill goes down, but the Character skill goes up. If either skill is raised to six in this fashion, the Barista loses his and the player loses control of his Barista, but in different ways depending on the stat. A Barista skill at six means that the barista has become a mindless drone, but a Character skill at six means that the barista goes on a murderous rage! Which is truly terrible customer service.

To prevent either from happening, the barista has an outlet—social media. If the player describes a social media post in which his barista complains about his job, he can reduce his Barista skill by one. If he describes a social media post in which he tells of a flashback about his Player Character’s epic deeds in his former life, he can reduce his Character skill by one. In this way, the Barista and Character skills go out of sync.

The aim of the baristas is to gain tips. Each tip is represented by a die type, from four-sided to twenty-sided dice. The bigger the die type, the bigger the tip.* Each die goes into the tip jar. At the end of the shift or whenever the health inspector turns up, all of the dice are rolled and totalled. For each full twenty points rolled, the gods relent, and let a barista return to his former life. If there are not enough points for every barista, then it is every barista for himself and since this hell, betrayal or doing the dirty is just going to be seen as part of the décor.

* The use of Dungeon Crawl Classics dice would be particularly diabolic!

To support play, the Game Master has tables for determining the belligerent nature of the coffee machine—it could be haunted or it could woof and wag its tail like a dog, for random events, and for twenty customers. They include Three Sloths in a Trench coat, Belon Trusk X, a barista’s Mother, Mango Maga Man, and more. Each one comes with roleplaying tips and what the baristas need to do for each to give a good tip. There is a sly sense of humour to the various customers. The Game Master is advised not to say who the customer is, but just describe what they look like and let the players work it out…

Physically, The Eternal Grind Café is lightly and cleanly presented. The artwork is light and suitably humorous. Elements of the presentation will change for the full edition rather than this the Preview Edition. Things that can be added to the game include coffee options, more complications, and more customers.

The Eternal Grind Café is a light and silly roleplaying game that is ever so easy to prepare and equally as easy to run. Perfect to run in between longer games or as a pick-up game, whether at a coffee shop or at home, The Eternal Grind Café is relaxing fun until everyone has the chance to get out of hell and never have to work another shift again!

Dungeons & Dragons 4.95?

So when I said in my review of Against the Slave Lords that it was the only ‘official’ release from Wizards of the Coast for Dungeons & Dragons, this was not exactly true—there was one additional release. It was a release not for any previous edition of the game, but for one to come, one that had not yet been released, that is ‘D&D Next’, the development version that will be released in 2014. Whether it will be released as Dungeons & Dragons, Fifth Edition is another matter, but that essentially is what the new game will be. In the meantime, there is Ghosts of Dragonspear Castle: A D&D Next Preview, which was an exclusive release at GenCon 2013 and has since been made available as a PDF.

Ghosts of Dragonspear Castle is two things in one. First, it is a mini-campaign consisting of four adventures designed to take a party of adventurers from first to tenth level. The second is an explanation of the rules, complete with monster statistics, spell descriptions, magic item descriptions, pre-generated adventurers, and setting material to support the campaign. Together, these two parts provide a preview of D&D Next—or at least a version of it. For at the time of the publication of Ghosts of Dragonspear Castle, the rules for D&D Next had not been finalised. Nevertheless, this preview presents a version of D&D Next that essentially has the feel of Basic Dungeons & Dragons, but with some influences from more recent versions of Dungeons & Dragons. This means that Ghosts of Dragonspear Castle could actually be run with any version of Dungeons & Dragons—bar Dungeons & Dragons, Fourth Edition—and indeed any Dungeons & Dragons retro-clone.

The campaign, Ghosts of Dragonspear Castle, consisting of ‘Fane of the Sun Swallower’, ‘The Cursed Crypts of Ambergul’, ‘The Fall of Illefarn’, and ‘Dragonspear Castle’, takes in and around the town on Daggerford on the Sword Coast of the Forgotten Realms. It opens with ‘Fane of the Sun Swallower’, in which the adventurers, either locals from, or visitors to, Daggerford, are attending the town’s midsummer festival. Unfortunately, the poor weather and the recent attack on a local noble’s estate has driven everyone indoors, except that is, for the public hanging of a Red Wizard of Thay who is believed to have been responsible for the attack. Whilst at this hanging, the adventurers are approached by Sir Isteval, a retired Paladin who resides in Daggerford to ride with him to the aid of Cromm’s Hold, a nearby keep that has been attacked by a black dragon! When they arrive, they learn that the dragon was after something—and that is enough for Sir Isteval to direct the adventurers to find what and why…

After a trek through a foetid swamp, this leads to the first of the campaign’s three mini-dungeons, a sun temple that has been desecrated by pestilent lizardmen. It is also the first of the campaign’s well-designed and inventive dungeons, which although quite small, is full of flavour and detail. This is not a dungeon that needs to be fought through, but rather it needs to be explored and learned from. Although there are plenty of combat encounters, there are also plenty of encounters where the DM gets to portray interesting NPCs—sections of boxed text throughout give advice as to how to roleplay each of the more important NPCs—and the player characters get to achieve their objectives without the need to draw a sword or prepare a spell. The dungeon has some memorable moments—the player characters gain an interesting pet, deal with an interesting family or two, and finally get betrayed.

This is perhaps the first and biggest weakness in Ghosts of Dragonspear Castle. Its plot revolves around not just one ‘MacGuffin’, but a quartet of them. Each once belonged to an ancient elemental cult, each is now sought by the Red Wizards of Thay, and each is unlikely to remain in the hands of the player characters—if at all. Which leaves the adventurers chasing, if not after what is in effect nothing, then at least after something to no obvious effect; all right, so they are chasing after a set of ‘MacGuffins’ and not getting hold of any of them is the point of the ‘MacGuffin’ or the ‘MacGuffins’, but the first scenario, ‘Fane of the Sun Swallower’, goes further and ends with the party’s betrayal. Simply, their success in the scenario is snatched out from under them, so not only is this plot device tiresome and heavy-handed, it is dispiriting too. This plot is part of the NPC’s desire for revenge on another NPC.

Should the adventurers decide to persevere, they are asked by a young pregnant woman to go after her child’s father who has been hired by a wanted Red Wizard, Darwa Dalion. She plans to explore ‘The Cursed Crypts of Ambergul’, the last resting place of the Ambergul family. The family were notable members of the ancient elemental cult, so in bringing Darwa Dalion to justice, the party may also be able to find the young man and learn more about the aims of the Red Wizards. In comparison to ‘Fane of the Sun Swallower’, this dungeon is much more sophisticated in its design, with an emphasis on traps and tricks as well as curses—lots and lots of curses. In fact, the player characters may well become tired of being cursed in this dungeon. Nevertheless, there is an inventiveness to the design of this dungeon and lots of interesting NPCs, most of them members of the Ambergul family.

Unfortunately, there is less inventiveness on show in the third part of the campaign, ‘The Fall of Illefarn’. This takes place in a collapsing Dwarven city that is inhabited by a Dwarf clan that has interbred with an Orc tribe. The underwhelming design of the dungeon owes much to its Dwarven heritage, but at least it maintains the same high standard in terms of its NPCs, and it does present an interesting puzzle when it comes to find much of the treasure scattered through its levels. Finding the final MacGuffin is also possible if something of a challenge, and of course, the player characters are unlikely to hold on to it for very long.

Sadly, the dip in quality continues with the fourth and final adventure, ‘Dragonspear Castle’. Although the adventure comes with a rousing though somewhat scripted denouement, getting there feels flat and something of a plod. It also seems rushed and out of step with the rest of the campaign, almost irrelevant to it the plot that the characters have been involved in, rather than the one that the major NPC has been orchestrating. Rounding out the adventure is a section on Daggerford and the surrounding Sword Coast, which should help the DM add flavour to his portrayal of the town and its inhabitants.

One interesting aspect of Ghosts of Dragonspear Castle is the magic items it includes. There are almost no ‘+1 swords’ or other archetypal weapons usually found in Dungeons & Dragons. There are scrolls and potions aplenty, but there are items such as an animated dwarf skeleton that will do your bidding and a music box of sobriety whose sober tune negates intoxicated condition. These and similar items are minor pieces of magic, but they are notable and any one of them is a worthy addition to a player character’s possessions.

The second problem with Ghosts of Dragonspear Castle is how experience is handled. ‘Fane of the Sun Swallower’ is designed for characters of first level, ‘The Cursed Crypts of Ambergul’ for characters of fourth or sixth level, ‘The Fall of Illefarn’ for characters of sixth or seventh level, and ‘Dragonspear Castle’ for characters of ninth level. The campaign advises that if the adventurers have not acquired enough experience points to reach such character levels, then the DM should add random encounters to boost the party’s experience point reward. Not only is this weak advice, it should be unnecessary advice—the adventures should be awarding sufficient experience points. Ghosts of Dragonspear Castle compounds this by not giving any advice in the DM Guideline chapter as to experience point rewards, nor any advice as to when the experience rewards should be given or levels awarded.

Half of Ghosts of Dragonspear Castle provides a version of D&D Next, covering ‘How to Play’, magic and spells, equipment, DM Guidelines, and a Bestiary. Of course, it is impossible to detail exactly what will be in D&D Next, but some impressions can be gained from reading through the second half of the book, even if, by the time of the publication of D&D Next in 2014, the version here will be a year out of date. The fundamentals appear not to have changed in terms of what the players can play—Elves, Dwarfs, Humans, Halflings, Fighters, Clerics, Wizards, Rogues, and so on. Characters very much look like Dungeons & Dragons characters, though more like those of Basic Dungeons & Dragons than those of other editions—though this does not mean that Elves, Dwarves, and Halflings are Classes in their own right. Characters do have Backgrounds, such as Soldier or Priest or Sage. Each provides a few quite significant bonuses.

The first notable omission to D&D Next is that of skills. Everything is done by ability modifiers—need to ride a horse? Make a Dexterity check by adding the Dexterity ability modifier to a roll of the twenty-sided die. Or a Recall Lore roll? That requires an Intelligence check. In addition, a character can also have one or more proficiencies, which either grant the ability to use various items—such as weapons or dice and cards, or grant a bonus to these checks. A +10 Lore check is one common feature of the book’s given player characters and is typically granted by a Background.

In addition to rolling the twenty-sided die for attacks, saving throws, and ability checks, characters can now gain ‘Advantage’ or ‘Disadvantage’. Both enable a character to roll two twenty-sided dice, having the ‘Advantage’ lets a character keep the better roll, whereas having the ‘Disadvantage’ forces him to keep the worst roll. Examples given in Ghosts of Dragonspear Castle include a character wearing chainmail armour having the ‘Disadvantage’ when attempting to sneak anywhere and a Halfling always having the ‘Advantage’ when making Saving Throws against fear effects.

The list of spells in Ghosts of Dragonspear Castle is not exhaustive, being primarily built around the pre-generated adventurers. What is noteworthy is that spellcasting Classes receive cantrips that can be cast at-will and that some spells, for example, Melf’s Acid Arrow, require an attack roll. Healing from rest enables a character to reroll one or more of his Hit Dice back up to his maximum Hit Points, so essentially, how well a character heals depends on his Class. Healing spells work normally. Lastly, a critical hit only adds one extra die to the damage roll, even if the weapon or attack normally rolls two or more for damage. Presumably this applies to spells because a weapon generally rolls just the one die for damage. For the most part, combat seems to have been simplified and streamlined, but still covers most eventualities.

Rounding out Ghosts of Dragonspear Castle is an appendix containing six pre-generated player characters designed for use with the campaign. They include a Human Cleric, Dwarven Fighter, Human Fighter, Elven Mage, Human Mage, and a Halfling Rogue—though no Human Rogue. Each is given a two-page spread, much of devoted to the advances made with each level, from second through to tenth levels. These are all set in stone so that no player has to roll for anything. It does seem odd though, that no Human Rogue is included, especially given that two variations are for each Class. (Note that I had planned to include one here as an example character, but unfortunately the difference between this version of D&D Next and the most recent I have access to was too great).

Physically, Ghosts of Dragonspear Castle is well presented and for the most part, well written. It needs an edit here or there, and it does suffer from some knowingly silly anachronism. That said, the authors acknowledge that the book is not the finished article, not the definitive version of D&D Next, and do have some fun with their commentary. The book nicely acknowledges the breadth and feel of almost forty years of Dungeons & Dragons in its choice of art, all drawn from the game’s history—it seems fitting that the main opponents of ‘Fane of the Sun Swallower’ are illustrated with a piece by the late David A. Trampier. The cartography is also well done, although annoyingly, the map of the region over which the campaign takes place, is hidden in the middle of the book, rather than being towards the front where it would have been of better use. Absurdly for a book that the DM is meant to make reference to during play, Ghosts of Dragonspear Castle lacks an index. 

Wizards of the Coast has released two sequels to Ghosts of Dragonspear Castle, though not direct sequels as neither use the same player characters. The first is the Dreams of the Red Wizards: Scourge of the Sword Coast, which is designed to be used with characters of second level, and will be followed by Dead in Thay.

The sad truth is that Ghosts of Dragonspear Castle is a stop-gap product, a book designed to give its audience a taster of things to come during a period when there is nothing else. Which is fine, as after all, it is intended as a preview for D&D Next. As a taster, it is not an unreasonable introduction to the new game, a more simple, streamlined version of Dungeons & Dragons in which—if the scenarios are any basis to go by—there is an emphasis on roleplaying and exploration rather than on set encounters. As to the campaign itself, Ghosts of Dragonspear Castle gets off to a great start with pair of meaty, well thought out, detailed, and flavoursome dungeons, before becoming losing steam with the second two parts and ultimately failing to quite deliver on the promise made in the first two scenarios. It is hampered by a lack of guidance as to how to handle Experience Points and gaining Levels, and the plotting never really strays too far from being a cliché. Nevertheless, it could still be played throughout, though not without some extra effort upon the part of the DM, using either the version of D&D Next in the book, the one officially published in 2014, or indeed most versions of Dungeons & Dragons. Which can only be a good thing as it means that Dungeons & Dragons, in the form of D&D Next, is not going to be as proscriptive as previous editions, is going to be accessible using multiple versions of Dungeons & Dragons, and thus is going to be ‘our’ game rather than just belonging to Wizards of the Coast.