Hacking the Temple of Doom

The Slave Mines of Vindicus the Terrible is a scenario for Barbarians of the Ruined Earth which wears its influences clearly on its sleeves. These are Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and the Dungeon Crawl Classics roleplaying game—and they both align with each other. The influence of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom shows in the setting for the scenario and who the players roleplay and the influence of the Dungeon Crawl Classics roleplaying game shows in who and how the players roleplay. The setting for The Slave Mines of Vindicus the Terrible is, like Barbarians of the Ruined Earth, the far future that is the Ruined Erath, long after an alien planet crashed into the Moon and caused it to rain down on the Earth. In the wake of this disaster, the Earth has been radically changed, a world of Stupendous Science, of subjugation by vile Sorcerers, of scavengers searching the ruins for lost technology, of Robots with new found free will searching for a purpose, and of  fearless, mightily thewed barbarians saving the day with savage beastmen as their companions by their side. One of these Sorcerers is Vindicus, who has risen to power and sent out his Mooks to abduct children from nearby villages and make them work in his mine a la Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. 

Now in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, these children escape due to the intervention of Indiana Jones, and in the typical adventure, it is the Player Characters who will take the Indiana Jones role. Not so in The Slave Mines of Vindicus the Terrible. Instead, the players take the roles of these children—four of them apiece—who take advantage of the disruption caused by the intervention of adventurers—who remain completely off camera for the entire scenario—to sneak out of the mines. As children, they do not yet have a Class or a Level, and are in fact, Level 0 Player Characters. If they survive long enough to escape the confines of the cave, then they may acquire sufficient Experience Points to step up to First Level. Here then is the influence of the Dungeon Crawl Classics roleplaying game and its infamous Character Funnel which pitches Zero Level Player Characters into a dangerous environment best suited to at least First Level characters. 

Surviving long enough is the issue though, particularly as the Player Character Children are both fragile and unskilled. Mechanically, this modelled with each only having four Hit Points and instead of having the standard set of Attributes—Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma—which the player rolls against for any action as per The Black Hack rules used in Barbarians of the Ruined Earth, a Player Character has ‘Kid’s Luck’. This is a fifty percent chance of any action succeeding, although a player can roll with Advantage under certain circumstances, for example when his Child character is sneaking. Conversely, he will roll with disadvantage under other circumstances, such as his Child character attacking a creature larger than he is. Lastly, except at key points during their escape attempt, none of the Children will actually be killed. Instead, they will be simply recaptured and dragged back into the mine by the evil sorcerer Vindicus’ robo minions and miners. 

The adventure begins with a sudden break in the power throughout the mine and the halogen bulbs which provide the various areas going out and the doors to the cells where the Player Characters are incarcerated swinging open… On the one of the many television screens which hang on the walls of the mine, Vindicus the Terrible himself appears and rages at the temerity of the intruders come to steal his Battle Staff of Disruption! With the cage doors open, the Player Characters have an opportunity escape—if they can avoid Vindicus the Terrible’s miner-bots, robo-drones, robo-guardians, robo-warriors, and Overseer Glog. Let alone what horrid creatures might have crept into the abandoned parts of the mine—such as the dread Toxic Hipposludgeopus!! For the most, this is a stealth and exploration scenario, combat is to be avoided, but there are plenty of places to investigate and more than a few interesting things to find.

The Slave Mines of Vindicus the Terrible provides a lot of support for the Game Master. This includes stats for all of its monsters and NPCs—though not Vindicus the Terrible himself, so hopefully he will return in a future scenario—plus rules for handling swarms. It goes further with very good staging advice for the Game Master. Each entry in the mine is broken into a series of boxes as appropriate. Thus ‘White’ for general description, ‘Grey’ for random Events or Sorcerer’s TV—the latter broadcasting what happens to the scenario’s on-screen/off-screen villain, ‘Yellow’ for further details when the Player Characters investigate the area, and ‘Orange’ for elements or things which will only be revealed if searched for or interacted with, or are hidden. It makes the scenario incredibly easy to run, virtually straight off the page. 

Physically, The Slave Mines of Vindicus the Terrible is vibrantly presented in the big bold colours of the Saturday Morning Cartoons that inspire both the scenario and Barbarians of the Ruined Earth. The scenario is also clearly written and easy to grasp, and can be prepared with a minimum of fuss. 

The Slave Mines of Vindicus the Terrible is by no means a terrible scenario, but in some ways, it is a bad scenario for Barbarians of the Ruined Earth. The problem with the scenario is that it is as fun as it is, it does not showcase either the rules or what players can play in Barbarians of the Ruined Earth. The core rules in the scenario are different and none of the Classes are used. Further, unlike  Character Funnels for the Dungeon Crawl Classics roleplaying game, this scenario is different. The Slave Mines of Vindicus the Terrible is not a Zero Level done and then First Level scenario. That is, the Player Characters are not automatically First Level, but rather the experience in the mines becomes an event in their childhoods and one that forms the basis of the Bond between them. As much as it is an introduction to the setting, it is not an introduction to the actual roleplaying game, it does not provide the mechanical elements that they would normally expect. So much so that The Slave Mines of Vindicus the Terrible could all be run without any reference to Barbarians of the Ruined Earth! What this means is that at this point, Barbarians of the Ruined Earth really needs a scenario which does that, and when it does, it should be sequel to The Slave Mines of Vindicus the Terrible.

The Slave Mines of Vindicus the Terrible is a big, fun scenario for Barbarians of the Ruined Earth. It is easy to grasp and easy to run, and everyone, the players, their multiple characters, and the  Game Master should throw themselves into making their escape from The Slave Mines of Vindicus the Terrible!

Hacking the Ruined Earth

Two thousand years ago the Earth was irrevocably changed by the Great Calamity. An alien planet crashed into our Moon, smashing it apart to rain debris down upon our world. The moon’s rock almost broke our planet apart and almost drove Humanity to extinction, but we survived—though not unscathed. Alien DNA that fell with the collision would change mankind, just as alien matter that fell with the collision would change the world, and out the chaos and the destruction that ensued arose new societies and new tyrants, new flora and fauna never seen before—at least not on this world, and new science and new powers, including one long forgotten (if it had ever existed that is). The world of today is one of astounding super science, of marvellous magic, of fearless, mightily thewed barbarians saving the day, of savage beastmen by their side, of tenacious scavengers scouring the ruins for precious trinkets, of Robots armed with new found free will searching for a purpose, of Death Priest who power their arcane abilities by channelling the dead, of Urchins sneaking around underfoot and unseen, of the raptor-like Vek with their hatred of sorcery, and of the more-than human Sorcerers capable of casting great magics. Many have thrown off the shackles of slavery and oppression, been exiled from their village, survived attacks by raiders, escaped servitude with a Sorcerer, or worse, and have decided to explore the harsh new world, to see what lies beyond the horizon of the Ruined Earth.

This is the setting for Barbarians of the Ruined Earth, a weird post-apocalyptic fantasy setting inspired by Thundarr the Barbarian, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Mad Max: Fury Road, and Pirates of Dark Water and best fuelled by a bowl of your favourite cereal in front a television showing the greatest Saturday Morning Cartoons ever. Published by DIY RPG Productions, Barbarians of the Ruined Earth uses the mechanics of the retroclone, The Black Hack, so is a Class and Level roleplaying game with player-facing mechanics—the latter meaning that the players do all of the dice rolling rather than the Game Master. Consequently, Barbarians of the Ruined Earth will play fast and easy, with the Game Master free to get on with portraying the world that the Player Characters will explore.

A Player Character in Barbarians of the Ruined Earth has the six attributes of traditional retroclones—Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma. He also has a Class, which determines the character’s Hit Points, arms, armour, and weapon damage, Special Features, as well as starting equipment, a trinket or two in their possession, and an important Life Event. There are eight Classes, but Barbarians of the Ruined Earth does use ‘Race as Class’ for four of them. Humans can be Barbarians, Death Priests, Scavenger, or Urchins, whilst Beastmen, Robots, Sorcerers, and Vek are all Races in their own right. the Barbarians is a fierce warrior, often battling against the vile oppression of Sorcery, either local heroes or mercenaries, who gains extra attacks, inflict greater damage, deflect attacks against him, give a mighty shout that boosts his confidence, withstand the effects of poison and fear, and always get the best out of his armour—even if it only amounts to nothing more than a loincloth or bikini! The Death Priest can channel the knowledge of the dead, withstand disease and mind-altering effects, has a Guardian Spirit which often protects him, and can cast Miracles, such as Curse, Ethereal Form, Harming Touch, or Spirit Whip. The Scavenger is agile and good at avoiding traps and getting into locked areas, and searching for and repairing technology. The Urchin is a child lurker, small, always an unexpected adversary, but bossy and able to get his way—sometimes, and good at surviving in the environment where he grew up.

The Beastman has animal features—often the features of more than one animal, has claws and is impossibly strong, and often in battle, can turn his thick hide to withstand damage of all kinds, including magic! The Robot has a metal body and is so tough, but needs Robot Repair Kits to effectively heal itself, is immune to diseases, poisons, mind-altering effects, and the like, and can salvage other robots , though the parts can corrupt the Robot. A Robot also has a Model, which can be a Combat, Diplomatic, Medical, or Tracker, each of which has its own Special Features. The Vek—or Raptorfolk—are a collective race fascinated with the Stupendous Science and Ancient Earth technology of the Ruined Earth and a hatred of magic and sorcery due to their enslavement by evil sorcerers. Each Vek is highly intelligent, able to withstand mind-altering effects, can see in allow light, have the thick hide, claws, and leaping ability of being a Dinosaur!, and can always get More Juice out of advanced technology. The Sorcerer, transformed in the womb, often becomes a megalomaniac, but others do serve the good, but all can detect magic, Stupendous Science, and evil, can resist magic, channel arcane power through his Sorcerer’s Staff, and sling spells. Sorcerers have access to ten ‘schools’ of magic, ranging from Arcane and Blight spells to Stupendous Science and Transformation spells, with each school having three spells.

As with other retroclones, a Player Character is created by rolling three six-sided dice for the attributes and selecting a Class. As per The Black Hack, if fifteen or more is rolled for one attribute, then two six-sided dice are rolled for the next one and two added to the total. Alternatively, for a more ‘Saturday Morning Cartoon’ style of game, two six-sided dice are rolled for each attribute and five added to the total. Then the player rolls on the Trinket and Life Event tables for his character’s Class. The process is quick and easy, although not as quick and easy for the Sorcerer Class, as the player has to make more choices and roll on a few more tables.

Eye of the Tiger
Level 1 Beastman (Hulyth)
Strength 16
Dexterity 11
Constitution 13
Intelligence 11
Wisdom 12
Charisma 14
Hit Points: 13
Special Features: Animal Features (claws, see in the dark), Super Strong, Impossibly Strong, Thick Hide
Damage: 1d8 (Weapon)/1d6 (Improvised)
Weapons: Short Bow, Spear
Armour: Cloth Armour (1 RP)
Equipment: Arrows, Rations (d6), Waterskin (d6), bedroll, torches ×6 (d6), healing salve
Interesting Trinket: Flute
Life Event: father was the tribal leader until he and your family were forced into exile

Mechanically, Barbarians of the Ruined Earth is powered by The Black Hack and thus player-facing. A player rolls a Test for his character to attack in combat, but rather than the Game Master roll for an NPC to attack an NPC, the player rolls a Test for his character to avoid the attack. A Test is made directly against the character’s attributes, the player attempting to roll under the value of the attribute. The only time the Game Master rolls is for damage inflicted when a player fails the Test for his character to avoid an attack. Tests can be made with Advantage or Disadvantage, and in combat, a roll of a one is a critical success, whilst a roll of twenty is a fumble. Armour reduces damage and shields can stop attacks, but may sometimes need to be repaired. Weapon damage is determined by Class rather than weapon type. One fun side effect of the weapon damage being determined by Class rather than type is that weapons can take lots of different forms which add flavour and feel rather than mechanical benefit.

The rules also allow for wielding a two-handed weapon or dual wielding, auto-fire (since guns and lazer weapons abound), and fighting mooks, hordes, and powerful opponents. Barbarians of the Ruined Earth uses the Usage Die and event-based Level-advancement as per The Black Hack, but adds a handful of tweaks that help enforce the genre. One is that the Usage Die applies to technology as much as food or torches, so that laz gun can run out of power and that hot rod out of fuel. Another is that Player Characters cannot die, but when reduced to zero Hit Points is taken ‘Out of the Action’ and can recover with a terrible scar or mental injury—the latter due to a heavy blow to the head. One noticeable difference between Barbarians of the Ruined Earth and other post-apocalyptic roleplaying games is that although there are Mutants in Barbarians of the Ruined Earth, they are primarily NPCs or monsters, rather than Player Characters. It is possible for a Player Character to acquire a mutation, but the effecting is mind-shattering—he loses points of Wisdom! Then there are the optional rules for Destiny Points which allow a player to reroll a Test, roll a Test with Advantage, reroll an Out of Action result, and even gain a Second Wind, and recover some Hit Points. Each Player Character has a single Destiny Point per session.

Mechanically then—and even with the minor additions—Barbarians of the Ruined Earth is simple and easy to pick up. Certainly, anyone who has played The Black Hack will have no issue. The game also plays quickly, with the emphasis on the Player Characters doing all of the action and their players rolling for it.

Further flavour and weirdness of the Ruined Earth is presented in first the equipment, where you can find weaponised animals—Acid Squids, Flaming Lizards, Mutant Hamsters with corkscrew teeth flung from a sling or a Slug Shooter which squirts stunning mucous from its eyes until it is dehydrated and dead, anyone?—and rules for vehicles and awesome chassis, such as a Stupendous Science Mobile with spider’s legs so it can climb walls. Then for the Game Master there is an explanation of the state of the Ruined Earth, irrevocably changed by the alien matter that fell to the Earth, strange plants and creatures appearing, native life—including Humanity, mutating and changing, and rifts in time and space being torn open in the fabric of reality, enabling dangers unknown to come explore our future world, whilst allowing the Player Characters to visit the realms on the other side. There are strange technologies to be found too, some wholly new, others seemingly familiar, but with a strange new twist. There is advice on devising both this technology and Stupendous Science devices, as well as how to handle NPC Sorcerers as recurring villains in true comic book style.

The tools for the Game Master are simply table-tastic! They start with a set of tables for generating adventures, followed tables for generating Ruined Earth NPCs, villages (complete with troubles and particular punishments), and then concoctions, books, weird religions, weird mounts, interesting locations , and weird weather. Put this all together and what you have is the means to generate not adventures, but episodes of the Barbarians of the Ruined Earth cartoon, if you will. A lengthy bestiary provides the Game Master with a great range of creatures, threats, and NPCs to put in the way of her players and their characters. They include the almost mundane—at least in comparison to the rest of the Ruined Earth—Aliens, Antmen, Ghosts, Giant Praying Lizards, Killer Clowns, Mummies, Mutants (supported by a table of Mutations earlier in the book), Raiders, Robots, Warlocks, and Zombies, and the bonkers, such as the Alien Vampire Spider Lizard, Animated Trash Man, Car Golem, and Car Serpent. Perhaps the most fun entry is the Tele-path, which has a television screen for a head and can repeat time in Reruns, freeze opponents with Static Existence, bolster allies and minions with Sports Commercials, entrance enemies with Infomercials, blast them with Hypersonic Static, or charm them with projections of Beloved Cartoon Characters! There are some highly entertaining monsters here, all of which are given some fantastic illustrations.

Lastly, the Game Master for Barbarians of the Ruined Earth is given not a scenario, but an area known as ‘The Western Lands’. This is the post-apocalyptic version of Los Angeles and Santa Monica, and is marked with thirteen important locations, from the Nukatomi Plaza, The Last Human Kingdom, and the Ruins of Los Angel to the Village of Route 66, Shopping Mall Fortress of the Witch Grenzel, and the Imperceptible Bluffs of the Winged Mutant People. Nukatomi Plaza, once the headquarters of the Nukatomi Corporation is actually a giant arcology, two hundred storeys high, with every ten storeys an independent block whose head, whether president, queen, gang leader, dictator, or anarcho-syndicalist commune, reports and pays tribute to the head of Nukatomi Plaza, Lightning Jack. Eight sample Blocks are included, all different, but all hating Sorcery, but there is plenty of scope for the Game Master to create more, and plenty of room to develop the lands beyond, which are of course, filled with cultists, monsters, mutants, nomads, raiders, Sorcerers, Stupendous Science, and more!

Physically, Barbarians of the Ruined Earth is nicely presented with effective use of orange and yellow to highlight the text. The writing is engaging, but what really catches the eye is the artwork. It depicts the strangeness and the action of the Ruined Earth in great blasts of gonzo and over-the-top colour that captures the look and feel of Saturday morning cartoons.

Barbarians of the Ruined Earth has a great pick-up-and-play quality that from the moment you start reading, you will want to play it. The roleplaying game combines a simple and easy style with fast-playing mechanics and the author’s clear love of the post apocalypse genre and Saturday morning cartoons. Barbarians of the Ruined Earth comes ready to broadcast some technicolour cartoon action into your brains and get you striding across the ravaged landscape of California, fearlessly defending the good, stalwartly battling vile Sorcerers, and delving into the secrets of the future! Bowls of cereal and pyjamas are definitely not optional.